I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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