i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
