A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
