butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
