the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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