Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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