Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
