You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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