My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
