I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
