dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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