She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
