Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
