So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
