so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
