is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
