took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
