I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize