I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize