i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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