i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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