im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
