shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
