sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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