your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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