Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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