At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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