u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
