so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
