this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
