What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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