When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Enjoy the penises
Dick very happy bro
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
