So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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