all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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