No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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