You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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