So gin and wine won't be happening again
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
