ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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