I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
