Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
