I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
