upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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