I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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