Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
