Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
