A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
