he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
