Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
