she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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