Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
