You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
