Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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