bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
