ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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