She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
