STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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