At least make sure they are 18
Why
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
