i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
