I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize