Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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