I'll bet she douches with gravy.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
